Hawt: Using an "AKA"

If you're not already using an AKA or a nickname, it's probably because you've been locked in your room taking full advantage of the World of Warcraft 10-day trial. Regardless of what you've been doing you're eons behind what's popular, and you're an idiot. Here's the real deal: Anybody who is something is using an AKA. That's how the expression goes, right? So snap to it girls and boys. Snap to it like a bleepin' slim-jim.

When I was a young stallion in high school, I met a kid named Aaron. But he wasn't just Aaron, he was Aaron AKA GhettoSmurf

That's right, Aaron AKA GhettoSmurf. You're damn right he gave himself that nickname, and if "GhettoSmurf" doesn't scream "Straight Boss" to you then you need to clean out your ears, ya heard?

Girls can do this, guys can do this. It's fun for the whole family. However, make sure to give yourself an AKA that goes "hella hard". Take mine, for instance: Michael AKA ThugStallionGoinBuck365

See how hard I am? See how much street cred that single AKA gives me? Who wants one name when you can have two? Two names says power. One name? Nahhh, he must be a WIMP.

So, lezzz do it. Here are a few ideas I came up with just to get you all started.

Brittnay AKA Bytchalicious213
Erik AKA TriggerPullerBamBam
Timothy AKA DoMyBallsHangLowDoTheyWobbleToAndFro?
Matthew AKA ImaEatYoDorritos AKA ImaEatYoLunch AKA UCantStopMe
Kerry AKA ZestyBoy420 (Sadly, I did not come up with this. It was my best friend's email account in junior high)
Josua AKA Lionz&Tigerz&BearzOhMy69
Frank AKA YouCantBarbecueNuffinOnDisGrillBlingBling

I hope these help you all get started making your own AKA. When you're comfortable with your new AKA, make another one. Be sure to use your AKA when you are introducing yourself. For example,

"Hello, I am Michael AKA IAintNoSnitch, it's really nice to meet you."

or if you have two AKA's go ahead and use both.

"Hey it's a pleasure to make your aquaintance, I'm Jon AKA WoofWoofThugBulletz AKA iSnatchYoGurl."

I know it seems difficult to just give yourself a nickname, but I hope this post has helped. We will be posting an instructional video on the basics of giving yourself a nickname soon. Stay Looney Tuned.

Seacrest OUT. Not really though.