Hawt: Turtlenecks

Fact: Turtlenecks are back. Green, blue, white, red, purple, black, grey. Any color. Every color. All day. Every day.

Everybody's been making a big to do about V-necks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, V-necks are great. I have one, the breathability in that thing is terrific, but I see 1,000 of them a day. And the double V-neck? Are you kidding me? Who thought that would be a good idea? Not this guy. So put your chest hair back in its cage for a minute(If you're a dude), simmer down and listen up.

Rocking a turtleneck isn't hard. During my illustrious days as a young student at Hillcrest Elementary School, nobody, and I mean nobody, rocked a turtleneck harder than me. When I wore them, girls simply couldn't handle it. My folds were made with Shick Quattro Titanium-like precision and the game was too easy. Red T-necks, green T-necks, white T-necks, I could pull them all off. I would walk on the playground and girls would fall off of the monkey bars simply because they saw my turtlenck. Nurse Nancy was a busy busy woman when I wore those firecrackers. It's not just me though, I mean I do look rediculously good in turtlenecks, but everybody can wear one. Grandmas, dads, moms and kids. Turtlenecks are great for the whole family.

Along with flat out sexiness, turtlenecks also offer variety. There are multiple ways to wear the turtleneck: you can fold the neck, you can leave the neck up or you can roll the neck down. Either way, it's a win-win situation.

Turtlenecks are great in the winter, but they are really perfect for all seasons. In the summer you can wear a turtleneck to protect your neck from harmful UV rays and sunburns. After all, who wants to be a redneck? Not this guy. Also, turtlenecks protect you from hickeys. Who wants a hickey? This guy. In the spring, you can wear them out with a light blazer, and they go great with both pants and shorts. Personally, I just wear my turtleneck like a boss, and you should too.

T-necks are powerful and empowering. They have "successful" written all over them. They also give you a ton street cred--and street cred is the most important thing in life. So start wearing T-necks.