Never Been Hit On Like This Before

Guys, I know getting a girl can be difficult. You can't always rely on your unbelievably-handsome looks, that great head of hair, or your mid-1960's 12-speed Coast King that you bought from some crazy old lady in Junction City. The game is more competitve than it's ever been--and it's not going to stop. Guys go to tanning salons, they wax their chests, they shave their legs, they are a lot stronger than you, they can bench more than you, they pop their collars, they wear v-necks and they use Just For Men Gel, just to "take off 5 years in 5 easy minutes."

The fact of the matter is that you have to seperate yourself. You have to stand out. You have to swim upstream and go against the current. You cannot be just another piece of plankton in the sea, you have to be the Humpback Whale, the one eating the plankton. Did you know Humpback Whales eat somewhere inbetween 4,400 to 5,500lbs of plankton, krill and small schooling fish each day during feeding season? Now you do, you're welcome. But anyways, honestly guys, if you read (and use) these doozies, the advantage will be more undeniable than Under Armour and that's simply a cold-hard-fact. Maybe you're trying to hit on a girl who's been hit on more times than a punching bag. So what? She's never heard these, and she has NEVER been hit on like this before.

1. Are you on iTunes? Cus' I'm probably only willing to pay a dollar...

2. Hey, I saw you on Intervention...

3. Hey, do you have Myspace?

4. Do you use Google? Cus' you're really revving my search engine up.....vroom vroom...Can you hear it?

5. Yeah, I'm actually a T.V. star, I was on To Catch A Predator....they didn't catch me.

6. Can I page you?

7. Guess who has two tickets to the Miley Cyrus Concert?

8. What's your number? We should sext later..

9. I saw your face on Monster.com.

10. Who told you dinosaurs were extinct? *Pull down pants simultaneously.

11. You don't need a rooster to wake you up..I can cock-er-doodle-do-you.

12. *Grab a girl's badonkadonk then say..The commercial was right, you do come with free handling...